“So, when you sleep for twelve hours a day, you’re awake for twelve hours a day too, so it starts to get hard to tell which is which.”

The dreams just keep coming. Or—or not stopping? It’s so hard to tell now, if I’m awake or asleep. I’m getting about twelve hours of sleep a day now, which you would think would be nice. It’s not. It’s not nice at all. I suppose I should explain what I mean—sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m letting myself get away from me.

Keiko Higuchi / Cris X // Melt

So, when you sleep for twelve hours a day, you’re awake for twelve hours a day too, so it starts to get hard to tell which is which. The dreams are so vivid too. Then you get this kind of doubt that always there—doubting being awake, doubting being asleep. I don’t really know for sure which I am right now, to be honest, which I always try my very best to be. I really don’t know if I will wake up to find out I wrote this report in a dream and forgot it.

It doesn’t help that the song I’ve found fits what I just saw/experienced before I woke/fell asleep just a few minutes ago. It’s a song called “Melt” made in a collaboration between two musicians named Keiko Higuchi and Cris X. It’s so dark and lonesome. Listening to it brings back visions that are trying to leave my conscious/unconscious mind as I write this.

There’s this long tunnel, stretching in front of me—and I don’t mean that it’s long (though it is long); I mean that it is literally stretching, getting longer. It’s kind of…“writhing”, I suppose, like a snake, but you can barely notice it. Way down at the end, there is this woman and she’s singing. It sounds meaningful, and her eyes seem meaningful too, but I can’t be sure she is even using words. They feel like words, but I don’t understand them like they’re words.

Anyway, I’m just going to send this to you dream/real Honeybear. I hope you enjoy it, whichever one of you gets it.